Nonviolent Communication Rule 1

I was writing Living the 8 Limbs of Yoga and realized I was writing so much about the first ethical principle of yoga, nonviolence, that I would put some of that information in 2 other books Nonviolence in this Moment (2019) and Nonviolence Journal and Workbook: 108 Prompts for Peace (2021). I finished all those books and realized I should have added more about nonviolent communication. I wrote a little eBook and some activities for my students because I really like the simplicity of the four rules of nonviolent communication.

Today I am thinking about the first rule, observation. It is important but overlooked. You need to watch everything that is going on before you speak. When I am practicing, I try to imagine I am a hidden camera watching the person I am talking to.

You will observe clothes, hair styles, make up, the overall image of the person. You will observe the person talking, their body language and facial expressions. You also can observe the surroundings, the room, the background or nature outside. Go back to the person, how do they move? What is unusual about them? How does it feel to be near them?

To practice the first rule of nonviolent communication just observe the person you are talking to. I’ll write more about the other rules, but if you are interested in reading more, I have a free download. Just enter your email here.