Nonviolent Communication Rule 2
One part of practicing nonviolence is improving your communication skills. I like the breakdown of the 4 rules of nonviolent communication because it is simple but can be challenging. In the last blog I wrote about rule number one, observation. Now we will talk about rule number two, pausing.
- Observation in silence
- Pausing (and now speak)
- Listening
- Silence
PAUSING
After rule one, quiet observation, you want to start talking. You may have something great to say and you are ready to get it out. But before you talk, take a breath and pause for a little bit longer. Let your brain move from quietly observing to forming words. Imagine your brain needs a little time to create the words. Take just a few more seconds to find that perfect word or words. Pausing for just a little bit of time can avoid any tendency to blurt out the wrong thing that you may regret. After a pause, speak.
You can probably think of a time you wished you did not say something you blurted out. I have a friend who just told me about 3 instances she blurted something out and later felt regret. Taking that pause would have solved this. She was rushing to give advice, then she gives what she thinks is great advice and it was not well received. She realized as soon as she did it, but she could not take it back and she regrets it. Then, like a bad habit she did it again.
As I think of more examples of the 4 rules, I will add them to the corresponding blog. You can get a free download Nonviolent Communication in the Lifespan Yoga shop.